I hope you're all enjoying the beautiful weather we're having. I want to thank all the single and divorced men & women that have been writing in their questions to my e-mail. I'd also like to thank everyone for all your thoughts and prayers for my Mom. She is feeling MUCH better-thank goodness! I am very fortunate to have wonderful male & female friends.
Many readers wrote to me with questions about dating a 'cheapskate' and what they should do. A few women wrote about their dating experiences with men that couldn't find their wallet at the end of dinner. I had a similiar experience while dating in my early twenties.
I went out with a guy that went to college with me. We were friends and used to talk a lot after class. He wanted to go out for coffee. He seemed nice, so I told him about some free tickets I won to a movie premiere at a local theater. I invited him to join me. He asked me to pick him up. I drove to his apartment. From the minute he got in my car, he told me how to drive, where to park and where we were going after the movie. We got to the theater; he told me where he wanted to sit and what HE wanted to eat for a snack. I didn't want anything. I was upset I asked him to join me. After we left the theater, he wanted to stop for a 'fast food' sandwich. He told me where to park and got out of the car and ran into the restaurant. He said he was 'very hungry.' I lost my appetite from his behavior. He walked in front of me in line to order his food. He ordered a hamburger and a soda.
After he got his tray and paid for his meal he turned around, looked at me and said, 'Aren't you getting anything?'
I replied, 'Yes, I'm getting OUT of here. Goodbye...'
In my book, 'Still Dating,’ I included a story about when my Mom became a widow and started to date. One date asked her to pick him up and take him to 'his' favorite restaurant. He ordered a huge meal and she had a small salad. Then, He ordered coffee and dessert. She watched him eat everything. After dinner he put his hands in his pockets 'searching' for his wallet. He said, 'It appears like I forgot my wallet.' I'll pick up the check next time.
My Mom replied, 'Don't worry, there won't be a NEXT time..'
One of my friends went on a date with a guy that invited her to dinner at a nice restaurant. After they sat down, they looked over the menu. The waiter brought bread and water to the table while they were looking over the menu. She was hungry. She met him after work and thought they were having dinner together. When the waiter came back to take their order, her date said, 'We're just having bread and water.' He ate the loaf of bread, drank three glasses of water and sat there for a couple of hours! She left the waiter a nice tip.
A male reader named Martin, wrote about a problem with his girlfriend. He said, 'She isn’t a ‘giving’ person.' He brings pizza over to her house and she doesn’t offer him anything to drink. He brings her flowers and candy on special occasions and she doesn’t reciprocate. She had dinner at his father's house. She never cooked dinner for him. She never thanks him for anything he does for her. But, he’s very attracted to her and they have the same interests in sports and movies. He’s been going with her for two months. He’s looking for a commitment but she’s not ready.
Marvin, I would tell this woman how you feel. Share with her your worries about the relationship. If she continues to be selfish, doesn’t offer you a drink when you’re at her apartment, doesn't recipricate & invite your family over for dinner, I would move on and find someone else. There are plenty of nice women out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
Ladies, There are plenty of men that are gentlemen and know how to treat a lady. If you're not comfortable and he continues to 'forget' his wallet while you're on a date, just say 'Goodbye' and find a new man to be with.
Until next time.. 'Keep Smiling!'
Send comments and questions to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Join Debbie Sue and her friends for 'An Evening of Comedy & Spoken Word' on August 25th at Perla Cafe' 1813 Dempster St. in Evanston at 7:30 pm.