Police: Well, That Was Easy... A Mundelein man was charged with theft after stealing a smart phone from the lobby of the Palatine Police Department. Lose Weight Fast By Running From Cops A bottle of Skinny Girl Vodka and Hennessy were reported stolen from an Evanston store. President Demands Pepper Spray Reform  A woman stole two Onyx packages of hair from an Evanston store and threatened to spray an employee with pepper spray when he confronted her.  What Basketball? I Never Balled a Basket in My Life.  A “large fight” broke out on a basketball court in Deerfield, but witnesses refused to …

As If Cryptozoologists Don't Have Enough Work Already  A Wilmette resident reported that a 12-pound Yeti statue was removed from his backyard garden.  Tiger Woods Can't Catch a Break A Buffalo Grove resident reported hearing a loud noise at 1:00 a.m., and later found a broken bedroom window and a golf ball on the floor. Cops Crash Honeymoon, Romantic Getaway Vernon Hills police charged a couple with public indecency after the couple was caught having sex in a car parked on a neighbor’s driveway. The car's driver was also charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, after he tried to …

Strong Man Commits Dumb Crime A Des Plaines man appeared in Rolling Meadows courthouse after he was charged with attacking someone using an exercise dumbbell during a home invasion. Nasty Gesture, Fresh Apology A Wilmette resident told police he was the victim of a battery at a Fresh Market grocery store following a traffic dispute. The Wilmette resident gave someone an offensive hand gesture during a traffic dispute on his way to Fresh Market. The Wilmette resident was followed into the store and was slapped on the shoulder. Since the offender apologized, the Wilmette man decided not to file…

Biting Costs Extra Humiliation A Skokie man called police to report a robbery after he said a prostitute bit and stole $50 from him during an altercation. The Grass Is Yellower On The Other Side  A Vernon Hills man was charged with disorderly conduct after he was observed urinating on a neighbor’s fence.  Chocolate Vandals Harass With Hungry Ants and Bees A Northbrook resident reported an unknown person used chocolate syrup to write words on the resident's driveway. Lawnmower Man Orchestrates Door Heist Someone removed all four doors of a white Ford truck parked in Palatine. The truck's …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Posted Under Rants and Raves Wilmette Police Arrested a Chicago man for trying to sell Ecstasy pills over Craigslist. Smells Like Teen Shoplifting Two 18-year-olds were charged with retail theft from a WalMart in Palatine when they were caught stealing perfume, cologne, lipstick and breath strips. Someone Left Their Library Card At Home A Park Ridge man was charged with DUI after being pulled over by Niles police for speeding. When the…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Responding Officers Raid Local Bunny Hutch Someone used spray paint to vandalize a school bus in Arlington Heights with a black Easter egg. Popular Beer Company Launches Brewer's Dozen A 20-year-old Lake Forest man was cited for possession of alcohol by a minor after an officer observed the man walking with fifteen cans of beer. As they say in Hollywood, the TV adds 10 pounds of jail time. A man broke into a beauty shop in Evanston and…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Vandals give resident a unicycle A Glenview resident reported that someone punctured three tires on their vehicle while it was parked in their driveway. Even shoplifters have to do their taxes A Harvard, IL man was charged with stealing calculators from the Walmart in Crystal Lake. Locked out to locked up with one simple phone call A 24-year-old woman called Deerfield Police because she was locked out of her car. Police asked for her …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. When Freddy Krueger and Wolverine go shopping Someone slashed a fur coat and several other clothing items, and sensors were ripped off other clothes at a Northbrook store. Hopefully he lifted with his knees Someone threw a shopping cart through a window at a Palatine chiropractic office. Take out taken ... out A man stole food from the counter of an Evanston restaurant   A real family member would have asked five times A Glenview …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Drive-by squirreling A woman in Skokie had just parked her vehicle when an unknown person stopped behind her, stared at her and threw a dead squirrel into her vehicle.    A rose by any other name is still harassment A man came into a Glenview store and made inappropriate comments to the employees. The man left the store for a short time, then returned with two roses he gave to the employee before leaving again. Police rounding up the …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Rum brazen A burglar entered an unlocked Evanston home and stole diamond earrings, a video camera, credit cards and dark Bacardi rum. Large pepper-oh-no! A pizza delivery boy reported his car stolen after delivering a pizza in Skokie. According to the report, the employee left his car running while delivering a pizza. When he returned, he saw that his vehicle was gone. Nerd thief giggles all the way to nerd fence Someone stole a laptop…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Refrigerator parry Deerfield police spotted a refrigerator on a hillside. Shortly afterward, police saw a car containing a 22-year-old Chicago man in the vicinity, approached him and he said he came to get the refrigerator, according to the report. He told police he worked at a nearby business as a janitor and the refrigerator was marked as trash.  The next day police learned from the company the refrigerator was not marked as trash …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Good boy, bad burglar A Skokie homeowner heard his dog barking in an aggressive manner in the downstairs basement.  The homeowner then heard the sound of someone running followed by a loud “pounding” noise. The homeowner believes the pounding noise was when the suspect opened a basement door that is not frequently used by the family. No items were reported missing. You mean there's a different policy for TVs than for those little soaps…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Unlike a good neighbor A Buffalo Grove resident told police that he moved to Nevada over the summer, and when the moving truck arrived, he was missing a TV, two bicycles, a barbecue grill, lawn chairs, a folding table, a computer and monitor, a printer, fax machine, cassette recorder, Christmas ornaments, hand tools, clothing, a vacuum and record albums. The man had asked a neighbor to supervise the loading of the truck and place …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Also, man reports that he may be invisible A Buffalo Grove resident reported that he had used drugs with a person he believed to be an FBI agent, and that there are more than 40 officers outside of his house. Police officers noted that there were no officers or other persons of any kind outside of the resident’s house when they arrived. The resident refused to go to the hospital for an evaluation. Tree theft or Ent hitchhiking…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Sometimes a cigar is just an act of vengeance A Skokie man was found guilty in federal court for conspiring to smuggle "truckloads of Cuban cigars into the country." His activities were halted when his ex-wife alerted U.S. Customs.  APB for Santa's elves' accountant Someone entered an unlocked apartment in Evanston and stole model trains and two adding machines. Four wheel drive off Someone stole all four wheels and tires off a vehicle…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. No, I said 'what a pitch!' A Skokie little league football coach struck a player’s father in the face following a dispute, police said. The victim was picking up equipment near a football sideline when his son’s coach approached him and asked if he’d called the coach’s wife a derogatory name. The coach then proceeded to strike the man in the face with an open hand, the report stated. EZ come, EZ go Someone took an unsecured four person…

Another blow to the tea party Someone stole a silver coffee pot, tea pot, creamer, sugar bowl, waste dish and large serving tray from a Northbrook home. The order did say 12 onion bagels and assault The owner of a Glenview business reported being battered by a delivery driver who was delivering goods to a business next door. Thieves' sentences will include lengthy extensions Five men were arrested and charged with retail theft after they allegedly stole hair weaves, hair grease and hair clips from an Evanston business. Man frantically prepares 'it will be awesome on YouTube' defense A Chicago…

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. OMG PD is on vacation this week. So we're taking a look back at some of our favorite odd crimes of the past few months. You had me at hello A man was assaulted after saying hi to his friend at a Skokie bar. According to police, the man said hello to his friend but was punched in the face and knocked down. He told police he is unsure why his friend attacked him. The aftermath of a great Ent party A large amount of grass clippings and …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Bye-Byedrangea A Winnetka resident reported a hydrangea bush was removed from the front lawn of their home.  This never happens in 'Grand Theft Auto' A 28-year-old Morton Grove man was involved in a traffic crash and left the scene, police said. He then got a flat tire and was forced to stop, according to police. He was charged with DUI. Park district official unsure how this loss will affect war with Atlantis A Glenview Park District …

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. Nick it like Beckham Two car bench seats, soccer balls, uniforms, orange cones and jumper cables were reported stolen from a van parked in Park Ridge. Maybe he thought it was plastique? A man displayed a plastic gun, then stole a car key and two house keys in Evanston. Beyond snippy An employee at a Skokie salon told police he would like to press charges against his ex-wife after she came into his business and knocked over a porcelain …