Pesky Protesters. What are they complaining about?

Somehow, after watching this video about the police in Anaheim, California, my tongue got stuck in my cheek. Still working on getting it out.

Today I bring you a video of pesky protesters in Anaheim California.  What are they protesting?  The militarization of the Anaheim police force.  What do they get?  Militarized police facing them down in the streets, making arrests, intimidating everyone.  

Well, what do you know.  They should have figured out that's WHY they militarized their police force.  So they could draw out the unpatriotic people who have a problem with having what looks like martial law in their home town. Brilliant when you think of it.  We need to know who these trouble makers are.

I hope our government plans on installing militarized police all over the country, along with the 30,000 drones they plan on having over our skies within the next few years.  Have you heard about the drones?  I think they did a piece about the US drone program on NPR.  Terry Gross sounded kind of worried about it for some reason, but I think it's really cool!  They kill just the right person, and leave all the good people like me safer than ever.  The best part is, the president gets to pick the person to be killed, and he doesn't need to go through any bothersome legal system to do it!  No lawyers, no trial, no having to prove anything!  Think of all the money our government will save due to this policy.  More food stamps for us!

I don't know about you, but I'm thinking of moving to Anaheim if they don't militarize our police here in Evanston pretty soon.  I just don't feel as safe as I'd like.  We all know terrorists lurk in every corner, not to mention common thieves. (Why can't they get a job?)  The danger is all around us all of the time, and I'd feel a lot better see some drones overhead and seeing police in riot gear on my street.

I worry about this younger generation.  They just don't get it.  I mean, yeah, I protested when I was young, but that was different.  Our government was doing bad things back then, like bombing innocent people in Viet Nam and spying on political rivals to smear their reputations.  Now they only bomb the bad guys, since they figured out how to sort out the bad people from the good.  And the only people that get publicly smeared deserve it! 

Right now, I guess most of the bad guys are in the Middle East, and here in the United States.  Protesters are a dangerous lot, in case you haven't figured that out by now.  Any, it's interesting how evil moves around to different places, isn't it? When I was young, most of the bad people were in Russia.  I don't remember us killing a lot of bad guys in Russia.  I guess they must have died out on their own since we're not bombing them or anything.  When my Dad was young, the bad guys were in Germany, but we killed a lot of them, except for the really smart Nazi scientists who we brought over under Project Paperclip to help us build really cool weapons to keep the Russians in line.

Now it seems we have to keep a lot of Americans in line.  I'm suspicious of people who criticize the government.  How can they be such ingrates?  These protester types need to get with the program!  Some of them are successful people, and as we now know, when we succeed, it's because the government helped, and when we fail, it's our own damn fault!

You may say, oh yeah, then why isn't that true for the banks who get bailed out by tax payers when they fail, but keep all the money for themselves when they succeed?  Because, dear reader, bankers are really smart, and we'd all be poor if it weren't for their brilliant financial maneuvers.  So if they make a mistake every now and then, it's right that we should bail them out.  And if it bothers you that they make in an hour what you make in a year, then you're just jealous and you'll never get anywhere with your loser attitude!  You're probably a member of the protest movement or something!

But, back to militarized police.  I doubt if Evanston has plans anytime soon to militarize its police force.  But the good news is, thanks to Rahm Immanuel, Chicago's police looked pretty kick ass military when those pesky protesters came out during the NATO conference.  And can you believe the protesters that have a problem with NATO?  

NATO is great!  It represents a centralized military force that no nation on earth can challenge.  In fact, NATO kicks ass!  Thank God the US military now takes orders from this centralized ass kicking powerhouse.  Some Congressman sounded really worried when our Secretary of Defense, Leon Paneta, told Congress the news a few months ago.  Too bad, you big fat baby! 

I guess it used to be the case that we couldn't bomb other countries unless our government representatives voted on it. Somewhere in the US Constitution it says war can only be declared by an act of congress.  But I think everyone agrees pretty much that this document is pretty outdated and irrelevant...I mean, c'mon, why all this paranoia about national sovereignty and individual freedom?  And you'd think these Congressmen and women would be relieved, not worried!  They don't have to make those life and death decisions anymore.   They don't have to abandon their vacation homes and travel to Washington DC just because there's another country that needs taking out.  Oh, boo hoo!

Thank God NATO is calling the shots now.  They know exactly which governments need taking down, exactly how to do it and who gets to be in power after the messy part is over.  A few innocent people may get hurt here and there, but that's a small price to pay for how great this completely centralized and unchallengable military force is making the world a safer place.  This must be the One World Order George Bush Sr. was talking about all those many years ago.  Thank God somebody knows how to plan ahead!  I'm sure the people in Syria would agree, and that they kiss the boots of all the foreign troops who have come to set them free, and bring them into this brave new world.  

Well, that's all for now.  In the meantime, I'll be looking for a way to move to a safer place, somewhere with a real police force.  No more of those wimpy Evanston parking meter jeepettes or generic patrol cars with that old serve and protect drivel. Give me a kiss ass police force!  Give me tanks, assault rifles, and drones! Now we're talking about a SAFE America!


This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Richard Schulte August 05, 2012 at 12:52 PM
A brilliant piece of satire June.
Richard Schulte August 05, 2012 at 12:56 PM
"All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing." Read more: http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/08/america_and_divine_intervention.html#ixzz22fyEd9Pr


More »
Got a question? Something on your mind? Talk to your community, directly.
Note Article
Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors.What's on your mind?What's on your mind?Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell somethingPost something
See more »