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Freezer of Dead Animals Broken Into, Stolen Toilet Brush

A look at unusual crimes in our Patch region this week.

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt.

Police responded to a burglary at Skokie storage facility. According to the report, a toilet brush holder, a DVD of the television show Scrubs and other items were reported missing.

A women told Skokie police that she was working in the drive-thru line at a restaurant when a woman approached her and said, “You stupid b****! You gave my boyfriend an STD!” the report said.

The woman then allegedly threw a large chocolate shake at the Portillo’s employee. The shake hit the woman’s chest and splattered all over her, the report stated. A struggle between the two ensued, but employees broke up the scuffle. The woman who threw the shake fled the scene. No arrests were made.

Someone broke into the Glencoe Public Works facility and cut the lock on the large freezer-shed that public works uses to store deceased animals. Glencoe keeps dead animals like road kill frozen in the shed until they’re picked up and properly disposed of.  Police have yet to find the attempted burglar.

A 64-year-old from Winnetka was pulled over while driving in Glencoe. According to police, he was drinking a cup of Maker’s Mark whiskey while driving the car. He was charged with improper lane usage, a light violation and driving under the influence of alcohol.

Police reported a six-foot wooden fence was pulled from a Des Plaines front yard and thrown into a wooded area across the street. A dead end sign owned by the city was also pulled from the ground and thrown into the wooded area.

 

Harold Chasten September 1, 2012 at 10:20 am
What German children? Was that a joke? Who writes this crap?
Emily Stone (Editor) September 1, 2012 at 11:32 am
Hi Harold, it was a reference to Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel, who also got swallowed up by the woods. Sorry you didn't like it.
Harold Chasten September 1, 2012 at 11:50 am
Wow that is a really far reach for a joke. I absolutely didn't get it. Ok.
Suzanne Daley September 1, 2012 at 02:09 pm
Lighten up everyone, these are not easy crimes to write humorously. Emily does a fine job each week, I'm a big fan!
@Harold, why don't you offer a wittier suggestion, instead of a rude complaint?
Walter White September 1, 2012 at 02:40 pm
Yes, well it may be prudent not to joke about missing children in the future. Just a thought.
Lois A. MacAdam September 1, 2012 at 11:53 pm
I didn't get it either and I thought I was smarter than that. Better luck next time.
Gregg Baker September 2, 2012 at 03:39 am
Emily, take heart. I love most of your jokes. Every baker burns a pie once in a while. So, not to worry. You still have fans!!! I did get the joke...(I didn't laugh...but I got the joke) At least you don't have to have "flop sweat" in front of a large audience. And you can always delete the hecklers online without having to pull a Kramer.
We have gotten soooooooooooo overly sensitive that I heard a story on the radio last week that talked about a deaf child named Hunter who was no longer allowed to use American Sign Language to sign his name because one of the gestures is similar to a gun. We may have lost our minds....so good jokes, bad jokes, keep 'em coming.... By the way, next time if you are stuck how about a headline that says "Lost your sense of humor? Search here"
Gregg Baker September 2, 2012 at 03:46 am
Apparently Jerry Springer must have been in town and doing a show at Portillo's. Those two lovely young ladies were simply Springer's guests. The assailant who escaped ran over to the Maury Povich show to be on the "Who's the Daddy?" segment.
Harold Chasten September 3, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Patch needs better writers. It's a joke. What with the spelling errors and out of touch writers... Are you guys being paid or is this all volunteer? Get in touch with the world and take your job seriously. Pathetic.
CB September 5, 2012 at 04:55 pm
Harold: You should consider resuming your medication. Get back inside your house and quit telling the neighbor kids to get off your porch. You are the one that is out of touch, you old coot!
CK September 26, 2012 at 12:32 am
Are you getting ready to write some great jokes and humor about future murder cases? Since when is crime humorous? Got any good ones about rape? Another thing that isnt humorous is stupidity.
CK September 26, 2012 at 01:04 am
Stone should be sorry she wrote it, not that somebody else didnt like it. As expected, throws the negativity on the complainant. Usual journalistic technique from a dying occupation bereft of substance. Well, Emily, any MTV type jokes on the murder in Evanston?
CK September 26, 2012 at 01:07 am
There were no missing children. In fact some might make an argument that children wrote this article.
Daniel Mulvihill January 13, 2013 at 09:01 pm
Writer lady, keep up good work. If some reader not get joke not mean it not funny.

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Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
Regional Spelling Bee winners.
Gretchen Brewster June 19, 2013 at 10:34 am
I believe that you have the names of the winner reversed. Bruce Hirsch is on the front left.Read More Gretchen Brewster
Lisa S. June 12, 2013 at 04:52 pm
Can you post the contact information so we can make reservations? Also, any idea what the glutenRead More free menu will be or is it a surprise?
Festus McMoron June 12, 2013 at 04:09 pm
diane, i'm sick of all you peoples whining and crying that blacks are picked on. there are manyRead More great black families in evanston. you lump every black into one group. we want the gangbanger trouble-making thug out of evanston. do you feel safe living here. i don't step 2 feet outside my home without locking it. after this knifing incident, i'll have my windows rolled up and car doors locked when i see a black male. the thugs have ruined it for all the good ones.
Jordan S. Zoot June 13, 2013 at 02:07 pm
Festus....being a bigot and scared of your shadow doesn't accomplish anything....that's why theRead More newly passed concealed carry law ought help....dude pulls a knife he gets peekaboo at the barrel of a .45 and lets see how things turn out....I get cut and his pumpkin implodes......better guess he turns tail and runs...reenforcing the rule that you don't win when you bring a knife to a gun fight
Patch reinstates deleted accounts! June 12, 2013 at 02:48 pm
What? Based on your spelling, grammar & punctuation, are you old enough to be posting on Patch?Read More Just wondering...
Procrustes' Foil June 12, 2013 at 02:57 pm
You're right, Patch. This post is barely literate.
Jordan S. Zoot June 13, 2013 at 08:59 am
The writer of the post is illiterate....that is clear. The Evanston Police, in general, do a greatRead More job in this community. There ought be a new category created specifically for membership in a gang that has demonstrated committed acts of violence...it goes back to the first smart thing which Mark Kirk ever said which was locking up each and every one of the 18.5K members of the Gangster Disciples. The second thing that can be done is that each and every law abiding Evanston resident that is legally able to do so should avail themselves of the right to obtain a new Illinois Concealed Carry Permit for a handgun. An armed society is a polite society.
Brooke Roothaan June 11, 2013 at 01:19 pm
Starting June 20th, 2013 at 7pm. All welcome.
Ellen robinson June 14, 2013 at 06:31 pm
I would like to come but I am confused. It says Wednesday, but the 20th is Thursday. Which day isRead More it?
Brooke Roothaan June 15, 2013 at 10:52 pm
Thursday. Whoops. Thanks for catching this!
Ignatius Williams June 9, 2013 at 11:30 am
This post is borderline-illiterate. You also fail to say where these shows are going to be held.
Phil McGovern June 9, 2013 at 01:24 pm
thanks for the heads up. I thought most people would simply click on the link. little did I know....
Phil McGovern June 9, 2013 at 01:29 pm
Thanks for the heads up. Little did I know. Thought most people would simply click on the link !