What do you do, when you are taking care of your children, going about your busy day and you get a phone call that your mother has fallen and broken her ankle? I bet you probably panic and worry. Is she okay? How did it happen? What do you need to do as her child? Who is going to take care of your kids if you have to help her? She could be living alone or with her spouse still, however, he needs to go to work and won’t be home during the day. Whatever the case may be, you’ve got questions and need answers.
This scenario happened to me recently. Granted, I do not have children and my parents are still relatively active, but my mom suffers from Rheumatoid Arthritis. Despite inflammation and chronic daily pain, tripping is also a symptom of this disease. My mom has fallen often in the last couple of months; however, this has been the worst outcome. As the eldest child, it makes me concerned if I should start having a discussion with my parents about their long term goals regarding their care. What do they want to do when they retire? What happens if one of them needs more care? Do they want my brother and me to keep them at home as long as possible and have caregiving services or move into a retirement community? What about driving? When and what should my brother and I be involved with?
Home Instead Senior Care has created a conversation starter called The 40/70 Rule. This guide helps the adult child (me) and their aging parent(s) deal with those conversations pertaining to sensitive topics or difficult situations such as those mentioned above. It gets the ball rolling before a crisis actually occurs.
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The reason the 40/70 Rule is called 40/70 is because it is the conversation between the 40 year old adult child and their 70 year old parent(s). The great part of this guide is that it is also a complete role reversal. Part of the booklet consists of advice and strategies for the 40 year old adult child to start the conversation, while the other half is advice and strategies for the 70 year old parent(s). Each side has scenarios and responses based on real-life experiences.
Although, I think that I have some time before having these conversations with my parents, I could be doing myself justice if we sat down as a family and had these conversations now; it’s better to be safe than sorry.
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For more information pertaining to The 40/70 Rule, please visit their website at www.4070talk.com.
Until next time, have a great weekend and take care.
Tessa Silvestri
Community Services Representative
North Shore Senior Services d/b/a
Home Instead Senior Care
8822 Niles Center Road, Skokie IL
tsilvestri@homeinstead.com
(847) 673-1250
