Teacher Janet Wright works with many struggling children. Here's her very thoughtful story about getting through to one difficult kid. This is what we pay educators to do, something that our society so badly needs.
__________________________________________
"You always make me feel like smiling," said Joey from behind the classroom door. This still makes my heart shift into a warm place. When Joey first came to our class his behavior was so disruptive we hardly got to any of the curriculum. His high anxiety prevented him and his peers from learning. Like all children, his emotional needs would have to come first before we worried about academics. Children need to trust that their teachers will find ways to bring out their strengths, challenge them appropriately, and make school enjoyable and worth their while. They also need to experience success consistently enough to believe in themselves. So I went to work for him.
Joey brought large, complex Lego concatenations to class each morning, parts falling off left and right. At first I thought to tell him he could not bring them to class, but my teacher instincts told me to say, "Yes, put them behind my desk until earned time." Soon I learned that putting his Legos together helped him deal with anxiety so I allowed him to choose his own access to them.
Joey screamed a lot for the first half of the year. Often, for no apparent reason he yelled insults and sometimes threw pencils and books at the other boys in the room. Joey was a rather frail child, yet he often provoked his classmates to the point that I had to talk them down from physically retaliating. His peers felt irritated and threatened by Joey, and reacted angrily to his outbursts. It was difficult for Joey to make friends. But like all children, he had a side that desperately wanted to connect with others. I like Joey, but I was frustrated with him when he screamed. I needed to find a way to hook him in with his peers.
I had one student, Sam, who had been with me for two years, and I worked to bring him in as a partner for Joey. Joey was strong in math skills, and Sam was ready for a partner who could bring him more of a math challenge. While Sam had also been wary of Joey, I knew he could be convinced that Joey was not a threat, and that he needed a friend.
So I used a story. Reading and discussing stories with children has benefits that cannot be measured on standardized tests. Stories help children develop a moral compass. One that had particular relevance for this situation was The Turtle by George Vukelich. In this story a father and son come across a large snapping turtle on the road at night on a Wisconsin fishing trip. While the son wants to beat the turtle with a tire iron or run it over with their car, the sagacious father subtly turns his son's thoughts to the vulnerability of the turtle and the injustice of attacking it in the middle of the road where it could not move quickly. He informs his son that if he insists on "fighting" the turtle, he should do it in the water, which would be a fairer fight. In the most powerful line in the story, the father asks his son, "Is this a brave thing?" After sharing the story, I simply quoted the line to Sam when he wanted to fight back at Joey's feeble attempts to terrorize others with his frustration. Sam looked at Joey's anxiety-ridden face and thin frame and understood the analogy immediately. After that he began working with zeal to put Joey at ease.
Sam became somewhat protective of his new friend, and Joey began to trust that his peer accepted him, in spite of his -- now only occasional -- screaming and throwing episodes. The two students became math partners and both benefited. While they shared their mathematical thinking, they also developed social skills. They goofed around a bit, but they got down to business problem-solving in math too. In this give-and-take relationship, the two students became friends. This opened the world a little wider for Joey -- and for Sam.
Once Joey began to feel invested in the classroom, his talents began to unfold. His passion for computers helped him to become our "go to" guy for resolving technology issues. When students paired up to work on Harlem Renaissance projects, Joey became the perfect partner for Betty, a bright, talkative young lady who needed a "technology expert" to help record her research findings. Watching Joey work with his peers, each child contributing from his or her own best talents -- those are the moments that breathe meaning into a teacher's life.
During class discussions on reading, Joey often seemed to be totally checked out and involved in his Legos, not paying attention. Yet he randomly contributed some of the deepest insights into issues under discussion. "Martin Luther King probably didn't want to ride with the Freedom Riders because -- what if he got killed? Who would lead the other civil rights marches?"
Joey was selective about the written work he would do. The physical act of writing was difficult for him. But when he worked, he put his whole body and mind into the product. If the superintendent's team had walked in and seen Joey playing with his Legos, they might have gotten the wrong impression. They would have seen a child playing with toys, and might have missed the brilliant thinking going on in this young man's brain. But Joey was paying attention.
Throughout the year I communicated with his mother weekly. At first it was difficult to find something positive to say, but as Joey came to trust the people in his learning environment, his anxiety took a back seat to his social and academic development. I was always glad to report when he had a successful week:
- Joey was able to respond positively to his peers when they asked him to keep his voice down.
- Joey did not complete his work, but was able to follow the discussion, making valuable contributions.
- Joey and his peer worked together on math problems and had a great time.
- Joey worked well with his peer on a presentation of Harlem Renaissance artists. He was the technician for Betty, who did the speaking parts on their I-Movie project.
As teachers we put forth our best efforts to reach every child, giving them confidence in their abilities and hope for future success. This often takes time. Progress is rarely linear. Children are complex, and their emotional needs override all else. Because Joey learned trust and experienced success through carefully planned activities, he was able to learn and make positive contributions to our learning community. And he carried that with him. Yes, I am a teacher and I made a difference in a child's life.
Joey, I thought, you always make me feel like smiling.
