Shaming the Wrong Slut

Like most Americans, I was appalled by the Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke performance during the MTV Video Music Awards.  I mean, it was disgusting to see a married man in a suit tight enough to see his parent's religious beliefs grinding his crotch against a girl young enough to be his daughter while he croons "You know you want it".
Oh, wait.  Apparently, I am supposed to be disgusted by Miley's sexually aggressive (and more than a little silly) performance. 
Mind you, I'm not defending Miley's foam finger humping dance routine.  I'm just asking for some perspective.
Part of why we are so appalled by Miley's act is that we generally associate Miss Cyrus with a squeaky clean, Hannah Montana image.  But Hannah Montana is not a real person.  She's never going to be older than 16 years old and her biggest problem is always going to be hoping that a fictional backwater doesn't tell anyone that she's a secret pop star. 
Miley is a real girl.  She's going to make mistakes.  She's going to misread the public's reaction to her.  She going to have bad boyfriends and act ridiculous and have regrets.  She's going to misunderstand what is sexy and what is just icky.  And eventually, she's going to be a much more interesting person than Hannah Montana ever could hope to be.
I'd also like to point out that it seems that all Miley's sexual posturing and club drug bragging is just a performance. Unlike actual train wrecks, the Lindsays, Brittanys and Amandas, Miley's personal life seems to be fairly private.  Until now her biggest scandals have been using a bong to smoke a legal substance, her friends getting her a birthday cake with a pot leaf on it, and making a racially insensitive face in a Twitter picture.  Also, she used the term "tranny" in Germany, but I'm not counting that because until that incident, I wasn't aware that it was a derogatory term either.  There hasn't been reports of tantrums on sets, showing up late for work, DUI arrests or any of the other hallmarks of teen star gone wrong. 
What I find infinitely more distressing is that no one seems to notice that Robin Thicke's summer jam "Blurred Lines" is essentially a date rape defense.  The chorus repeats the phrase "You know you want it" and "But you're a good girl".  Now, I will confess the song is a jam, as the kids say.  It's got a good beat and you can dance to it (yeah, I'm old.  Deal with it.)  It's also pretty much a note for note rip off of a Marvin Gaye song. 
Among my proudest moments this summer, my seventeen year old son was immediately repulsed by "Blurred Lines", instantly declaring it as "rapey".  This was without any prompting from me.  When we watched the VMA's this weekend, J saw Thicke for the very first time and stated he was even creepier looking than he sounded.
So why is it that my kid can see that a grown man fully clothed in a suit, making sexually suggestive statements and dance moves at a scantily clad, much younger girl is gross, when everyone else puts the blame on the girl.  I don't think my son is any more feminist aware than your average teen age boy. 
Thicke defended his song and the accompanying video of fully dressed men watching literally naked women dance around them that he can't possibly be anti-woman because he's married.  And his wife approves of the naked ladies and gyrating and twerking. 
Well of course she does and bless her heart.  Until this summer Robin Thicke was barely a B list child of a B+ sitcom star.  The more controversy, the more downloads of his album, the better for Thicke.  I get it.  Believe me, my husband has a degree in television production and writing and if the opportunity to produce porn came up, I'm all in favor.  Those student loans aren't going to pay themselves.  It's not going in the Christmas newsletter, but I am also not going to make any excuses for it either. 
What I would like to see is young male celebrities held to the same standard as young women.  I'd like to see some outrage about Bieber's crotch grabbing and shoving a young fan's cell phone down his pants.  (True story folks.  Google it.)  I'd like to see a guy get the confusing criticism that his butt was too flabby for his bikini bottom and way to small for the exact same bikini bottom.  Or to have every unflattering shirt portrayed as a baby bump. 
Or possibly just for everyone to just treat each other a little more kindly and to keep our nasty comments in our heads and off the internet.